500 words

So this is my goal for the summer.

As i sit around on this leather couch, wearing nothing but boxers, sitting spread eagle in front of 2 high powered fans, yet still sweating my balls off, I have set a goal for myself. I'm going to finish my mediocre opus at least 500 words at a time. I am going to write at least 500 words a day throughout this lazy summer, and going to have the first draft finished by at least september 20th, or the end of summer.


I've been able to do that the past 3 days so 100 more should be no problem, AMIRITE!

A second thing, If i found a dog grooming place, but it listed itself as a grooming place (as in without defining itself as dog grooming) and I showed up for a full body grooming, could i report them for false advertisement if i got refused?

chapter 2

I started chapter 2 today.

Thought I had more to write in this blog tonight. I don't.

Real men update blogs once a year

It's been a year since I updated this blog. Usually when I start a blog I make one post then forget about it for eternity. The fact that I made several posts must be progress. I went and read my last post about my psuedo-conversation with an alien and I got douche chills. If I saw an alien I doubt I'd ask it about anal probes. I might stab it though. No real reason as to why, just a gut reaction. I guess the reason would be because the only way I'd meet an alien is if it appeared and woke me up in the middle of the night. If any intruder woke me up in the middle of the night, or startled me in my home, my first reaction would be to commit a stabbing. A stabbing might be more of an hyperbole. In reality if some intruder surprised me in my house I would probably emit some sort of high pitched squeal while simultaneously open handed slap the intruder's head with both hands repeatedly. A home invasion is the only scenario which I would meet an alien because if it rang the doorbell I would probably pretend I wasn't home like I do with other solicitors.

I'm watching the world series of poker feeds again this year like a degenerate. Progress on my novel has completely stagnated but I've recently had the urge to continue. We'll see what happens with that.

In the last six months i've been really into YA novels. I read Divergent and it's sequel. I liked divergent but didnt like the sequel and I was glad I just wiki'd the plot of the third one without buying it, I wouldn't have liked it.

I read a pretty incredible book called "Don't tell my parents I'm a supervillain." I found it extremely enjoyable and it made me want to become a mad scientist. For a month after I read the book, all i wanted to do was fins a video game where I could be a mad scientist and create wonky inventions/devices. The only game that satisfied that urge was minecraft and with it I could only really build a lair rather than being a mad scientist.

Another Superhero themed story I have gotten into is called Super Powereds. It's a serial where two chapters are published every week at drewhayesnovels.com. It's about a college for kids wanting to be super heroes. It's currently on Year 3 and I devoured years 1&2 in the span of a couple days.

I'm thinking I should finish the story i started a year ago. Not finish it well but at least get it all out of me so I can obsessively dwell on something else. I suck at ending things so here is a picture of a dancing bear. I'll either write in this tomorrow or a year from tomorrow.

lazier week; last exorcism pt 2, poker; aliens

Another lazy week, I got a lot of ideas down but not much progress on writing. I feel like im stagnating and not getting anything done. A trip to cape cod might be in order.


I watched the last exorcism part 2 yesterday. It moved glacier slow, although I did like the ending. Not sure how it is a part 2 becase they ignore some pretty significant things from part 1. Like how in part 1 she gave birth to a demon baby that was just ignored in part 2. Also where did all the cultists go? The "found footage" from part 1 was on youtube in part 2. Didn't the police or families of the people who died in part 1 have any questions? In spite of all that I liked the ending but found myself fast forwarding through the slow parts to get there.

Another thing I've been glued to is the livestreams of the final tables from the World series of Poker. It's like NASCAR or golf in that you either like watching it or you can't stand it.

I found myself thinking about aliens recently. I would imagine meeting an alien and the conversation would go as follows:

ME: Whoa an alien

Alien: Hello

ME: You speak English

Alien: It's complicated

ME: Are you going to Anal Probe me

Alien: What's an Anal?

ME: It's where the garbage goes out

Alien: Why would I want to probe that?

ME: Because that's what Alien's do

Alien: Have you ever met an alien before?

ME: No...

Alien: you're an idiot

This is where the alien walks out annoyed. As he's leaving, it just so happens to be trash day and there are people going through my trash looking for recyclables. The alien notices this so he turns bach and says

Alien: You have some people giving you an anal probe out here

ME: I see what you did there, well played

Lazy Week; dreams; PS4

Spent the last week writing down some ideas and watching the live streams from the world series of poker. I got most of my ideas from dreams. I usually have weird dreams that play out like movies that, when I remember, I write down and I get some interesting ideas from them.

Fever dreams are especially nutty. When I had pneumonia ten years ago, I was in bed with a 100+ degree fever and I had a dream/halleucination that I was the "mother robot" and the government was trying to trick me by making me think I was in bed sick with pneumonia. I also had one that involved gnomes and jetpacks but I never wrote that one down.

 I'm not sure if my time is best used putting into the story/novel im working on or if I spread it around on different ideas.

I decided that I'm going to get a PS4 and I am not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand I feel I might be too old for video games but on the other they look like so much fun (Tom Clancy's The Division, Watch Dogs, Last of Us). If I was interested in pokemon that would be a problem. However, if they made a 3D open world version of pokemon a la grand theft auto I would be all over that. That might actually be a problem then.

The following has Game of Thrones season3ep09 spoilers

I am currently reading the third book in George R Martin's series and I am staying a little ahead of where the season is currently at. I was so elated at the red wedding. I hated Rob and Catelyn Stark. Robb because I felt he had lost sight for what he was fighting for and Catelyn for the whole Kingslayer debacle.

Generally though, except for Arya, i'm not on team Stark. If anything I'm on team Targaryen. So with less Starks  may mean possibly more time for my dragon queen. That's why I was fist pumping to the "Rains of cashmere." I thought that the deaths of Cat and Robb can really take Arya and Sansa to interesting places, and I fucking hate Sansa but now I want to see what happens.

I was thinking of how great it would be if Sansa and Tyrion found common ground and in my mind explored what that path would look like. Tyrion helping Sansa become less Naive and more cunning and tactical. That all was stopped when I read what happens at the next wedding. That's what I get for fist pumping over dead Starks.

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Going to submit a few short flash fiction pieces to a couple periodicals and see what happens.

cape cod

On Friday, I packed up two shirts, a pair of pants, and my computer and headed down to cape cod for a couple days. The city was unbearable and the cape was much more comfortable. There was a turtle trapped in an area of my yard.

I'm sure he thought, "Who are these people in my yard?"


Figured out what to do and where to go with my story and rewrote the first part of it again. I'm surprised at how many times a I rewrite things.